Office Hours

The chance of a lifetime. Or is it? (I think it is.)

Q.

Dear George,

About 8 or so years ago, I lived in Bohemia, Brooklyn, and I had one goal: writing a great novel. Then I met my wife, and that goal kind of...bifurcated. This bifurcation was a difficult and indeed excruciating experience for me, but, I am happy to admit, today I am the father of three kids, happily married, solvent and (and!) my dedication to writing that novel has only been annealed by the crucible of life so far. 

Now it seems like a new turning point may be at hand. It is very likely that next year my family will move to a small capital city (we live in Europe) where my wife will assume a government position that comes with a generous stipend. We will be able to live off her income, and so after working my butt off for the last four years, spending several hours each evening and odd hours at the office writing and revising, I might now have entire days without other 'proper' work to do than write.

Yet this prospect really scares me...

Maybe fatherhood and all its accompanying terrors have made me much more risk adverse, but putting down my paid work for a year of the writing life feels like flying without a parachute. Naturally, I wonder what happens after that year, when I probably won't have written (or sold...) the novel I dream of. My kids are still small, my obligations are still big, and I am contemplating more or less playing a game for a year, instead of being a responsible parent. 

On the other hand, I am as certain as a writer can be that, if I do that year of work, I will make something great. In the last year, and especially in the last six months, I have been writing stories and parts of the novel-in-progress that I am exceedingly proud of (Brooklyn me would be envious). My 'art' feels like it's growing too big for my life as its currently organized, and I have to make some kind of move. 

This is not the kind of problem anyone I know has, and I've never heard it discussed in these terms. Do you know the boat I am in, George? Where it's headed? Should I pack a raincoat? Or a life vest?

Thanks for any hints,

A.

Dear Questioner,

Well, first, of course, congratulations and, as I’m sure many here will agree, it’s a nice problem to have.

The first thing I’d lightly push back on is this opposition: “I am contemplating more or less playing a game for a year, instead of being a responsible parent.” 

Au contraire! I say.  What if “being a responsible parent” includes doing one’s best to fulfill one’s artistic ambitions, so as to be more fully “there” as a parent?