Personal questions demand personal answers. I know I wasn't the one who was asked the question, but I have something to say about it, because I faced similar questions forty years ago when I was considering marriage and a family. I'm reminded of a story about Raymond Carver. When he had small children at home, and money problems, and …
Personal questions demand personal answers. I know I wasn't the one who was asked the question, but I have something to say about it, because I faced similar questions forty years ago when I was considering marriage and a family. I'm reminded of a story about Raymond Carver. When he had small children at home, and money problems, and shitty jobs, he would steal time for writing by sitting in his car, a notebook propped up against the steering wheel. I don't know if the story is true, but I often thought about it when I made excuses for myself, for why I wasn't writing during the years I had small children at home, and a demanding job, and the sorts of pressures that probably all of us experience.
I have a friend who is a literary agent, and I was talking to her one day about this, and she said to me, "Writers write." So for some years after, I didn't think of myself as a writer at all, because I simply wasn't writing. Then, a dozen years ago, something changed, and I couldn't not write. I felt compelled to. And I began to use my other responsibilities as a kind of foil. I would avoid them by working on a piece of writing, an assertion of sorts, maybe the assertion of a creative self.
Now my kids are grown and starting their own families. I'm lucky enough not to have to work for money anymore. And I'm writing again more seriously now, and my children and my experiences as a parent and the four decades of being a part of what I used to think of as the "real world" are all sources and inspirations. I love my family. Being a parent is the experience of a lifetime, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. Now, aside from climate change, the threats to our democracy, and the pandemic, all I have to worry about is having enough healthy time left in my life to accomplish something as a writer. I don't know what that means yet, but I'm working, and it's enough for now.
Side note: Story Club has been a blessing. I think of us as a community. Thank you all.
Personal questions demand personal answers. I know I wasn't the one who was asked the question, but I have something to say about it, because I faced similar questions forty years ago when I was considering marriage and a family. I'm reminded of a story about Raymond Carver. When he had small children at home, and money problems, and shitty jobs, he would steal time for writing by sitting in his car, a notebook propped up against the steering wheel. I don't know if the story is true, but I often thought about it when I made excuses for myself, for why I wasn't writing during the years I had small children at home, and a demanding job, and the sorts of pressures that probably all of us experience.
I have a friend who is a literary agent, and I was talking to her one day about this, and she said to me, "Writers write." So for some years after, I didn't think of myself as a writer at all, because I simply wasn't writing. Then, a dozen years ago, something changed, and I couldn't not write. I felt compelled to. And I began to use my other responsibilities as a kind of foil. I would avoid them by working on a piece of writing, an assertion of sorts, maybe the assertion of a creative self.
Now my kids are grown and starting their own families. I'm lucky enough not to have to work for money anymore. And I'm writing again more seriously now, and my children and my experiences as a parent and the four decades of being a part of what I used to think of as the "real world" are all sources and inspirations. I love my family. Being a parent is the experience of a lifetime, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. Now, aside from climate change, the threats to our democracy, and the pandemic, all I have to worry about is having enough healthy time left in my life to accomplish something as a writer. I don't know what that means yet, but I'm working, and it's enough for now.
Side note: Story Club has been a blessing. I think of us as a community. Thank you all.
agree total blessing
Jon I love this. And your side note, I feel the same.
Thank you Stacya.
Good luck on your writing!
Thank you Michael.