I'm not so sure, I really despise the character and the book, and myself, most of the time. I often feel a certain aversion to go on with it. With the book and life in general. But then I think about those girls and also feel a certain obligation, as weird as that may sound, to write about it.
I'm not so sure, I really despise the character and the book, and myself, most of the time. I often feel a certain aversion to go on with it. With the book and life in general. But then I think about those girls and also feel a certain obligation, as weird as that may sound, to write about it.
Half the time, wait, only about 1/4 the time, I despise myself, though curiously I do not despise my "people" in the stories. Life is so often painful and despicable, but that is just what is. Sometimes it can be very beautiful - beautiful things are sometimes horrific, and horrific things can be, briefly, beautiful. I am deeply mindful of the beauty you give those girls, and grateful that you are giving to them, and to your own young self in the process. It's a yo-yo string, Ansuya. We go up and down it. I'm a great deal older than you and i hope you can believe me that as long as you do work you love, you will ease some as time goes on. And the writing gives you a path. I am alive today because of that path. I have accepted that I gave up my road to into the published, acclaimed, prize winning tribe, but I am a very good writer, as you so clearly are, as well, and I am learning still every single day! This year I have selected two very very short pieces and paid children to illustrate them. Those illustrations are so extraordinary, I am taking those little stories (6 pages, 8 with the illustrations - each with a beautiful cover) to the local Christmas Fair. So far everyone who has seen them has loved them, and they have liked my stories as well as the pictures. One person even baked a cake out of beet sugar, as I had in one of the booklets. And this afternoon, one of my neighbors who is recovering from knee surgery, read my story aloud to me. That is a first! I heard it from an entirely new angle. All this has made me incredibly happy! The success of the children's work and of my stories is the first time in 40 years I have produced something I feel entirely good about. I have published three books, but always felt - embarrassed. These small triumphs are all good and life-giving. I'd love to know more about your relationship with your publisher and the writer who saw your genius.
ThatтАЩs beautiful!! IтАЩve been working as a babysitter as a student and honestly I never felt more calm and at pieces in my life than when I was reading to them or making drawings with them. I do want to read your books, if thatтАЩs ok with you? Ask away about my publisher or the writer. I donтАЩt know if he saw genius, but he did call it тАШbest novel in a decadeтАЩ which made me very uncomfortable haha.
That struggle about hating or liking oneself really resonates with me. There are so many things I wish I could go back in time (in a DeLorean!) and undo, or redo. I hated myself from about the age of nine until two or three years ago when my wife (who had similar issues) held up a mirror that was not a product of my own head and said, look at all the people who love you. This was a bit like being hit by lightning, to say the least: being rewired at the cellular or molecular level. ItтАЩs still easy as bad pie to hate myself, until this memory resurfaces, and spins my brain back to a more realistic (ha ha!) position. The only other thing I can say about it is that itтАЩs true that not hating oneself makes it easier to shine some love onto others. This journey is worthwhile, no matter how long it takes.
PS Mary g also held up a mirror like that to me a couple months ago, for which I am infinitely grateful. But thatтАЩs who she is, thank goodness!!
Best novel in a decade means genius! My 2nd ed of Virginia Primitive is newly out on Amazon. It's also an Ebook on Kindle. An older book, Rapture, is also available but only as an Ebook.
IтАЩve never met the author, I send him an email. I picked him because heтАЩs teacher at an art college where the teaches Creative Writing, which is still quite new here. So I thought he might have good advice. But his advice was thus: send it to a publisher.
I'm not so sure, I really despise the character and the book, and myself, most of the time. I often feel a certain aversion to go on with it. With the book and life in general. But then I think about those girls and also feel a certain obligation, as weird as that may sound, to write about it.
Half the time, wait, only about 1/4 the time, I despise myself, though curiously I do not despise my "people" in the stories. Life is so often painful and despicable, but that is just what is. Sometimes it can be very beautiful - beautiful things are sometimes horrific, and horrific things can be, briefly, beautiful. I am deeply mindful of the beauty you give those girls, and grateful that you are giving to them, and to your own young self in the process. It's a yo-yo string, Ansuya. We go up and down it. I'm a great deal older than you and i hope you can believe me that as long as you do work you love, you will ease some as time goes on. And the writing gives you a path. I am alive today because of that path. I have accepted that I gave up my road to into the published, acclaimed, prize winning tribe, but I am a very good writer, as you so clearly are, as well, and I am learning still every single day! This year I have selected two very very short pieces and paid children to illustrate them. Those illustrations are so extraordinary, I am taking those little stories (6 pages, 8 with the illustrations - each with a beautiful cover) to the local Christmas Fair. So far everyone who has seen them has loved them, and they have liked my stories as well as the pictures. One person even baked a cake out of beet sugar, as I had in one of the booklets. And this afternoon, one of my neighbors who is recovering from knee surgery, read my story aloud to me. That is a first! I heard it from an entirely new angle. All this has made me incredibly happy! The success of the children's work and of my stories is the first time in 40 years I have produced something I feel entirely good about. I have published three books, but always felt - embarrassed. These small triumphs are all good and life-giving. I'd love to know more about your relationship with your publisher and the writer who saw your genius.
ThatтАЩs beautiful!! IтАЩve been working as a babysitter as a student and honestly I never felt more calm and at pieces in my life than when I was reading to them or making drawings with them. I do want to read your books, if thatтАЩs ok with you? Ask away about my publisher or the writer. I donтАЩt know if he saw genius, but he did call it тАШbest novel in a decadeтАЩ which made me very uncomfortable haha.
That struggle about hating or liking oneself really resonates with me. There are so many things I wish I could go back in time (in a DeLorean!) and undo, or redo. I hated myself from about the age of nine until two or three years ago when my wife (who had similar issues) held up a mirror that was not a product of my own head and said, look at all the people who love you. This was a bit like being hit by lightning, to say the least: being rewired at the cellular or molecular level. ItтАЩs still easy as bad pie to hate myself, until this memory resurfaces, and spins my brain back to a more realistic (ha ha!) position. The only other thing I can say about it is that itтАЩs true that not hating oneself makes it easier to shine some love onto others. This journey is worthwhile, no matter how long it takes.
PS Mary g also held up a mirror like that to me a couple months ago, for which I am infinitely grateful. But thatтАЩs who she is, thank goodness!!
Thank God for Mary G (my mind always adds Blige, very annoying!)
What did she say to you?!? I mean, if you want to share it.
I will tell you via email, soon!
Best novel in a decade means genius! My 2nd ed of Virginia Primitive is newly out on Amazon. It's also an Ebook on Kindle. An older book, Rapture, is also available but only as an Ebook.
IтАЩve never met the author, I send him an email. I picked him because heтАЩs teacher at an art college where the teaches Creative Writing, which is still quite new here. So I thought he might have good advice. But his advice was thus: send it to a publisher.